Counting my blessings

Today I am thankful for many things.

• I'm thankful for this glorious rain that we've needed for awhile. 
• I'm thankful for the temperatures that are finally below the 90s this week. 
• I'm thankful for my two legs that although parts of them hurt a lot, they're still my two legs that work right most of the time. 
• I'm thankful for my strong arms. Although they're still kind of jiggly on the underneath side, the rest of them look pretty good! I actually looked at my arms the other day and thought, "damn, look at my arms!"
• I'm thankful for wonderful friends and family who are encouraging and supportive, and always seem to know what I need.
• I'm thankful that through my Biggest Winner challenge I've learned how to better manage stress.I truly believe that sweat helps melt it all away. If you aren't a believer ... try it...it works!
• I'm thankful that I can still depend on my teammates for weekend exercise, and look forward to that email or text on Friday saying, "where are we walking tomorrow?" 
• I'm thankful for the delicious vegetables that I bought at the Farmer's Market last Saturday that were part of my dinner. I cooked eggplant for the first time tonight. While it tasted delicious ... it sure stinks! 
• I'm thankful that I continue to choose to make the decision that I'm worth this. I'm worth the time, dedication, sweat, and sometimes tears. I'm worth the time I'm taking for myself, to become a better me. 

I hope you take the time today to be thankful for the blessings in your life. Whether small or large, if you don't take the time to account for what you are thankful, sometimes it easily slips away! 

The week that would never end ...

Ever have those weeks that by the time you get to Tuesday you feel like it should already be Friday? I've felt like that since Monday! Tonight I'm exhausted, but it's a "good tired," not a "I'm going to pass out on my face kind of tired." 


Since my last post I had my initial fit test at Fort Sanders Health & Fitness Center - although for some reason we didn't finish the entire thing so I'm going back Wednesday to do Part 2. After I met with the exercise physiologist he gave me a brief tour of the cardio-theatre area of the gym. I have to say -- the realm of exercise entertainment has really progressed since I was last a member in a gym! They have a few bikes that you can dock your iphone/ipod into, and watch content on your phone on the screen of the bike...or, if you'd rather, you can play a game from the bike collection, such as solitaire! lol  I know, I know, not what I should be focusing on about the gym ... but, how cool is that! I like any distraction that will take my mind off of how hard I'm working!! 


This afternoon our team was on Live at Five at Four on WBIR. One Fridays the show films live from Market Square, so it was a fun change of pace. I hate that not all of our teammates could be there -- but one, actually had to be at WBIR to produce the show! I'm glad that they got to do a cut in of her during the segment!  I don't think there's a link to today's segment yet, but I'll keep checking to post for you guys to see.


Pretty exciting stuff. In Monday's Knoxville News Sentinel the Covenant Healthwise page will also feature our team. Be sure to check it out. You can also check out some additional info about our team, as well as links to some of my teammate's blogs here: www.covenanthealth.com/biggestwinner. There's also some of our fun publicity shots that we did during our first meeting together over a month ago. 


In other exciting news, after I left Market Square I headed to New Balance to pick up my new shoes. I took them for a little spin once I got home, and they felt great! I even ran a few intervals. Now when I say "ran," I really mean more of a "shuffle." I'm sure if anyone in the neighborhood saw me there would be much laughter. But, hey, who cares! Felt good, and making progress! 


Sorry I'm skipping all over the place, but that's how my brain is working today. Since our meeting with our trainer/life coach Chris earlier this week, I've been thinking a lot about my goals. I've always been very goal oriented when it comes to work. So it's been an interesting thought process to sort through personal goals. My #1 goal is: Cross the finish line on April 1, 2012. 


In June of this year I weighed 265.5 pounds. On the first day of our training I weighed in at 249 pounds. I've come a long way, even though I'm just beginning. This brings me to Goal #2: Be happy with my progress. I want to continue to celebrate my victories, even if they are small. I want to celebrate daily the task I'm undertaking, and be proud of myself. I want to be proud of myself even when I have a bad day, and don't exercise, or eat something I shouldn't. I want to eliminate self doubt. 

My 3rd goal is a little different ... instead of the goal being to lose weight, my goal is to lose my old habits. I'm trying to build new fitness habits that will help me succeed in achieving better health. Building new habits shouldn't be too difficult since there weren't many old ones to get rid of! :)


I'm working on more goals, but thought I'd share these.  I'll leave you with a few inspirational tidbits from, where else, Pinterest! I love these. Thanks for checking out my blog, I appreciate everyone's support! 

The first day of the rest of my life

Yesterday was a great day. It was emotional, it was exciting, and it was just a preview of the opportunity that I have been given to change my life. At 34 years old I've decided that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired! Yesterday I met my Covenant Health Knoxville Marathon Biggest Winner teammates!


Where I started
Dealing with my weight has been a constant struggle throughout my life. I remember being enrolled in a children's weight loss/lifestyle program at ETCH called the Body Shop before the age of seven. In the past thirty years I've tried every weight loss plan from Weight Watchers to Atkins, and never lost more than ten pounds, and definitely never kept it off.


At a young age I accepted that I was always going to be a "big girl," and that I just needed to embrace who I was, and make the best of it. It was a hope that if I accepted myself for what I was then everyone else would, too.


My family history
I love my parents, but they gave me crappy genes. Currently my mother, father, and I all struggle with Type 2 Diabetes and glucose control. I've also been given the wonderful gifts of a family history of heart disease and stroke. Gifts I'd rather return for something better!


The habits
Growing up the child of a physician and a nurse, and choosing healthcare as my own profession, I've always "known" how to eat healthily. Even when not observed, I've always been aware of proper portion control, and what's good for me, and what's not.


I'm a stress eater. I know I'm a stress eater. I will never deny that I'm a stress eater. My biggest stress relief is french fries. Yes, you read that right, french fries. Not reading a good book or going for a walk, but french fries. Even the worst french fries are better than no french fries at all!


I'm an intelligent woman - college educated, trained in critical thinking, and full of common sense. Yet somehow at 34 years old I still use food as an emotional gauge. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm celebrating, I eat when I'm comforting or being comforted.


My nemesis: exercise
I hate to exercise. It's hard. It hurts. And in the past I've never seen results good enough to make me want to stick with it. When I was younger I developed a major resentment for exercise because I was forced to do it because I was fat. My siblings didn't have to exercise. They got to sleep late. I had to get up every day before school to walk on the treadmill.


In elementary school I ice skated for several years because it was my sister's "sport" of choice. My sister was built for ice skating - she's thin, athletic and graceful. I, on the other hand, was made more for ice hockey - husky, durable, bulky.


Needless to say, I never built a healthy relationship with exercise. This is no-one's fault, it's just a fact of life. I never had any fun with exercise, so why do it!?


My life today
I've been married to my wonderful husband for over two years, and we have a fur-baby Belle. My husband has always loved me for me, and is an amazing man. He supports me in everything I do, including the crazy journey I'm beginning.


I pride myself on being a dedicated, hard worker. No matter what the cause. I give 200% of myself to my job, and to everyone else. I've realized that for my sanity and health's sake I have to take a step back, and give 200% of myself to ME!


At 34 I have Type 2 Diabetes. I take 3 different medications for my Diabetes. I have high blood pressure (a result of one of the Diabetes medications). I have high Triglycerides (a side effect of high sugars). I am an orthopedic nightmare - a mess of chronic knee injuries, coupled with a recent foot injury.


In the past 4 months I have lost over 15 pounds. This is the most weight I have lost and kept off that I can remember in my lifetime. During a brief moment of euphoria caused by my weight loss I thought, "maybe I should try to exercise!" While most people would maybe consider re-joining a gym, that was a little too simple for my taste. I decided, "maybe I should apply to be on the Biggest Winner team!"


Covenant Health Knoxville Marathon Biggest Winner Team
I know it's not going to be easy. I know there are probably times I'm going to want to quit. But I know that I need a lifestyle change or I will continue jeopardizing my health. I am realistic knowing that I may not come out of this loving exercise, but it's my goal to complete this challenge this loving what exercise has helped me accomplish.

I'm looking forward to getting to know my teammates. And I know if anyone can help get me motivated it's Coach Missy Kane, and our team manager, the lovely Tonya Stoutt-Brown! I appreciate everyone's love and support that has gotten me this far!


Today's adventure: Buddy's Race Against Cancer 2-mile walk ... see you there!